We'll Miss You
Uncle Hilly (in green) with my father in 2004.This past Saturday my uncle, Hilly Purnell, passed away. He was 83 and is survived by his wife of 64 years, Doris Purnell. You can read the full obituary here.
Sadly I will not be able to attend the family gathering to celebrate his life because I'm hosting 6 people for a major dance event in DC. But I really wanted to do something for Uncle Hilly, so I decided I would write a small tribute in his honor.
Obviously I wasn't as close to Uncle Hilly as some of my other cousins because my life and career has taken me (at times) pretty far from the state of Delaware. I would see him and the rest of the family during holidays and such, but that was the extent of it since graduating from college. But I have to tell you, I always jumped at the chance to see my Aunt Doris and Uncle Hilly. They are two of the greatest people one could know. Their personalities, their open-hearts, and their love for their family could be seen from the moment you were in their presence.
I can recall growing up in Delaware and having my parents take me down to "the river" to see my aunt and uncle. Doris and Hilly live in a beautiful house in Oak Orchard overlooking the Indian River, which spills into Indian River Bay, only a few miles from the Atlantic Ocean. The location was exactly what I would expect for my uncle, who was an avid outdoorsman, loved boating, hunting and his dogs. It was quiet, peaceful, and the sunsets are something out of a postcard.
Ever since I can remember, Uncle Hilly called me "bub." I used to love it because as a child, you're somehow always trying to grow up. Being called "bub" made me feel like one of the adults, almost like I could have been sitting there enjoying a beer with my dad and the rest of the men of the family. Uncle Hilly also had quite a sense of humor. There wasn't one time while visiting "the river" that I can't recall my dad and Uncle Hilly sharing a laugh. It was almost like the two men shared a bond of exact personalities. Of course, my dad had to have liked Hilly since he let him marry his sister. She was big sis, but I can promise my dad wasn't going to let just anyone walk in and sweep her off her feet. So yeah, I see a lot of my father in Uncle Hilly and a lot of Uncle Hilly in my dad.
Honestly, I don't really know what else to write here. I'm not real good at expressing my sorrow in words because I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I do know that words can't really describe how much I'll miss my uncle. But I can be thankful to have had so many great years of knowing him. And I can be even more thankful that both my parents and my Aunt Doris are still around. And if I know Uncle Hilly at all, he doesn't want us to be sad. He wants us to celebrate him just like he would have lived his life...doing the things we love, sharing it with our families and laughing every day.
We'll miss you Uncle Hilly. We love you!
Walter H. Purnell: 1926 - 2009
posted by DVS @ 2:32 PM
7 Comments:
Thank you, son.
Beautifully done.
Hilly would like it.
Love you.
Dad
To all of you, I am so sorry for your loss! I will always remember Hilly, what a great personality. I hope you will all be there to support Doris, such a dear woman.
doug i know i havent seen u in a while but i want to say that was the best thing i have read i havent stopped crying since he has died u were bud and i was poppop i will truly miss him everyday of my life
Mommers,
Thank you for your nice comment. Doris is doing o.k. As she says, she has her "moments," but their four children have been great, visiting her and taking her out. Doris will be all right. She has her painting and, although her son Mike (a home builder)is helping with Hilly's rental properties, she has that to do if she wishes.
Hilly's passing marks the end
of an era, a long period of gatherings and parties and fun times at "Doris and Hilly's," at and on the river. But she, and we, will go on loving and being with each other. And remembering.
Thank you again. Although we don't see you nor spend time with you, we will always value our friendship and our relationship with you and yours, and cherish those too short years.
Hope all is well in Mommers Land.
Regards,
Big D
Who is "poppop?"
Big D, Glad to hear that Doris has a lot of things to do and people to support her. I understand the "end of an era." We experienced that as well when my dad passed away.
We too, cherish those years and your warm friendship!
And so, we celebrated. We saw old partying, sailing, and tree-hunting friends. And Hilly's duck-hunting buddies. Older now, and in their own sunsets. And we shook their hands and slapped them on the back, and we couldn't believe it had been that long ago. And we saw his wife and his children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. And we laughed and looked at old photos, and ate, and drank, and told stories and celebrated Hilly Purnell, who was not there.
And we cried, inside. Hilly was not there.
Oh yeah, Hilly was there. In the smiles, the warm greetings, the reminiscences, the love and affection that filled the cozy banquet room at The Old Brick Hotel in his hometown of Georgetown in Sussex County in Delaware. Just a shout from his old home over on Race Street.
Hilly is gone. It just doesn't sound right. It can't be right. Not Hilly.
No more tree hunts, and hunting dogs and boat trips on the peninsula's rivers, and Dixie District regattas.
God, the laughs we had. The old gang. Page, McShane, Chuck, Ben, Bill, John, Uncle Tom... And always a new child of someone at the easter egg hunt, or on Christmas Day.
No, he's still with us, somewhere.
It may never be the same, those days have vanished, the sounds have silenced, but he will never be gone.
My mother, amazed at all the childen and the room-filling family used to say, "Look what Pete and I started!"
Look what Doris and Hilly started.
And as long as any of us can still enter that house and that world of Hilly and Doris Purnell, we won't let him go. We won't let it go.
It is too precious.
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